“You glow differently when you’re actually happy.”

I saw this quote on Pinterest and it stuck with me. Over the past year I have learned so much about myself and others. My friends and family have made comments to me that I “glow” and “look genuinely happy.” It’s because I am! I honestly have everything I need and want. True happiness comes from within.

I feel like there is a “stigma” around being single and people assuming you are lonely and unhappy. With just a peek into my life, they would see that is not the case at all. In fact, it is the exact opposite. For the first time in a long time, I am doing what I want to do and happy in my day to day. I get to be me. And nobody is telling me to be anything different… and it feels amazing!

Honestly, I don’t think I will settle down for a while. First of all, I refuse to “settle.” There are so many mediocre relationships. People just doing their day to day because it fulfilled a need at the time… but isn’t making them truly happy. They end up losing themselves. I’ve been there. I won’t do it again.

Second, I love the freedoms I have. Things I have wanted to do for so long, I get to do! If I want to take off and go on a trip, I go. Luckily I have a lot of friends in my life that love to do this too and have the freedoms to do so! So we all go and it’s a blast. My kids also love to adventure with me and I love every second of it. We usually take their friends with us too and it’s always a blast. I get to do personal hobbies again! Woot Woot! Like this website for sharing my scrapbooking, cooking, thoughts, stories and ideas. I’ve missed this over the past 5 years and I’m grateful to have it back. Kinda sad right? To have been in relationship where I didn’t feel like I could like my own likes and accomplish my own dreams? Are we not all individuals? We should get to do the things we want to do and pursue passions of our own. I felt like I had to like only ‘his’ likes and do only the things that ‘were cool to him or society.’ I never felt like my wants and desires were ever good enough. Even my business is flourishing now, where it was held back before. It brings so much value and purpose to my life.

Now, don’t get me wrong… I’d love to have a partner and a teammate to share this life with (all ups and downs), but with my history over the past 5 years, I won’t be jumping into anything soon… and lucky for me, the people in my life are very understanding of that :).

Lastly, I have so many deep, real relationships with people now that I value so much. I have more friends in my life than I’ve ever had. My kids have more friends than they’ve ever had. We were cut-off from the world and our life was dedicated to one person (if you need further clarification, look up narcissistic abuse and what the narcissist does do to cut you off from everyone who knows and loves you). I lost relationships with my kids, my family, my friends, my work and everyone in between. For the past 5 years I was denied relationships with people who cared about me because it was a threat to the narcissist. I was guilt tripped by words like “you have connections, I don’t” and “why do you need them if you have me” and such. My only “connection” was supposed to be him, and that was all that was allowed. No family, no friends, just him. But now? I have my family back and so many old and new friends. I adore them all and they do have a place in my life. They should have a place. My kids have more friends too. There is so much value in our relationships with others… that we didn’t get to have before. It brings us happiness.

It’s amazing to me how much our life is changed over the past year… and for the better. I love it when people say to me “you look really happy.” What a compliment!! Because I am. And my kids are. We ALL are!!

Thanks to my friends and family who were there for me through thick and thin and supported me even when I couldn’t be there for them. They never gave up on me and are the reason I am where I am today. I will forever be grateful for them and will be there for them no matter what! And, thanks to my bestie who is always there for me and my kids… even if they’re taking pics of me and I’m being camera shy (as usual lol). I don’t know where I’d be without you. The support I’ve received through my friends and family is amazing and I am truly blessed. I am one lucky girl. One happy girl. And it shows!